Hair Would Only Slow Me Down Funny Bald Humor T-Shirt Unisex T-shirt, Sweatshirt, Hoodie, Long Sleeve Tee
Unique Graphic Wear – DTG Printed on Gildan® Blanks
Imagine scrolling past this and NOT getting it. Yeah, we can’t either. Soft Gildan® cotton, studio-quality print, and a fit that just works. You’re welcome.
📸 Mockup is a tee – but we’ve got you covered. This design ships on 4 styles: T-Shirt, Long Sleeve, Crewneck & Hoodie. Your call, your style, made just for you.
The Good Stuff
- 🎨 Looks Fresh, Stays Fresh – High-res DTG printing captures every detail. Machine-wash friendly.
- 🧵 Comfort-Level: 10/10 – Gildan® blanks with OEKO-TEX certified dyes. Soft on skin, gentle on the planet.
- 👕 Designed for Real Life – Classic silhouette, taped shoulders, itch-free tear-away label. Wear it anywhere.
- 🇺🇸 Good Cotton, Good Vibes – US Cotton Trust Protocol member. Sustainable, premium, American-grown.
Fabric Specs
- Tees & Long Sleeves: 5.3–6 oz, 100% US cotton – light enough for summer, layerable for fall.
- Sweatshirt & Hoodie: 50/50 Heavy Blend (8 oz) – pill-resistant with spandex cuffs & waistband.
- Sport Grey uses a 90/10 cotton/poly blend for its signature heathered tone.
Pick Your Color & Size
Use the charts below to pick your ideal color and size:
Available Colors
Gildan 5000 — Unisex T-Shirt
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 36 in (91.4 cm) |
| M | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| L | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| 2XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 3XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 4XL | 34 in (86.4 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
Gildan 2400 — Unisex Long Sleeve Tee
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 28 in (71 cm) | 36 in (92 cm) | 33.5 in (85 cm) |
| M | 29 in (74 cm) | 40 in (102 cm) | 35 in (89 cm) |
| L | 30 in (76 cm) | 44 in (112 cm) | 36.5 in (93 cm) |
| XL | 31 in (79 cm) | 48 in (122 cm) | 38 in (97 cm) |
| 2XL | 32 in (81 cm) | 52 in (132 cm) | 39.5 in (100 cm) |
| 3XL | 33 in (84 cm) | 56 in (142 cm) | 39.5 in (100 cm) |
| 4XL | 34 in (86 cm) | 60 in (152 cm) | 39 in (99 cm) |
Gildan 18000 — Unisex Sweatshirt
| Size | Length | Bust | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) | 33.5 in (85.09 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) | 34.5 in (87.63 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) | 35.5 in (90.17 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) | 36.5 in (92.71 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) | 37.5 in (95.25 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) | 38.5 in (97.79 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) | 39.5 in (100.33 cm) |
Gildan 18500 — Unisex Hoodie
| Size | Length | Bust |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 in (68.6 cm) | 40 in (101.6 cm) |
| M | 28 in (71.1 cm) | 44 in (111.8 cm) |
| L | 29 in (73.7 cm) | 48 in (121.9 cm) |
| XL | 30 in (76.2 cm) | 52 in (132.1 cm) |
| 2XL | 31 in (78.7 cm) | 56 in (142.2 cm) |
| 3XL | 32 in (81.3 cm) | 60 in (152.4 cm) |
| 4XL | 33 in (83.8 cm) | 64 in (162.6 cm) |
- Find your color in the chart above.
- Match your measurements to the size guide.
- Add to cart and check out securely.
Delivery Info
- ✅ Production: 1–3 business days.
- 📦 USA Standard: 3–7 business days.
- ⚡ USA Rush: 3–5 business days.
- 🌍 International: 1–2 weeks.
Every item is made to order just for you. Please verify your size using the chart above. We can’t accept returns for sizing errors, but we’re always here to help if something isn’t right.
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